bittersweet

There was once a system that sucked me inside its magical environment. It was non existent, like an unwritten song lyrics. Being a first timer as I was in that unexpected experience, I was floating away through an unheard life – ignorant of the lovable beings around me. I was a prisoner inside my own deeds; a prisoner who feared from the outside world, who fell in love with the system that formed darkness in a short hiatus.

Like a drunkard I was flushed and felt intoxicated with it. A feeling that can never be described. When I needed more doses, the system was graciously charitable. But before I knew it I was abandoned by it, the system was no where to be found. The charity was cut short. I was suffocating, because finding out that that system was realistically turmoil. That system that I was sucked in promised me the world in one hand, but I mostly saw the waves of confusion that drifted me to unwanted places. First of them was a place called Emotional Instability. Luckily, I was out if it sooner than expected; only to find myself with an unwanted guest. It kept following me to places that had never been visited before. I wanted some answers: why was I abandoned, who might that unwanted guest be?

Curiousness made me realize the paid visit was from a guest named Capriciousness. It was addictive; moreover, it was unsurprisingly a hand-me-down from my so called fellow – Emotional Instability. I realized the former had enough of me, or did I have enough of it?

Capriciousness was ironically a beautiful transition. Made me easily forget I was ever into the system. With the mood swings flying everywhere it landed me upon a school of thought. An aptitude of familiar territory – a preview of my prehistoric life with the wonderful and lovable beings. I’ve reached an understanding that life still goes on. At last I was cured until a fortnight ago a rushed reappearance by it shocked me. I do not want to be trapped again by the system. I was tired of its problems. It brought grayness to my hair. I need to live an easy, blossoming life away from it, as far as my body can drag me. The thought of being intervened by the system scares me.

So let bygones be bygones.