another.try

I've been away for quite a while from this journal. The lack of writing made me even forget to express my every-day self. The last year of living in Dubai made me 100% be dedicated towards my work. It was a splendid experience that just passed by swiftly with a flicker of a second so to speak.

Alas, I'm back in my own country surrounded by family and friends. This hopefully will help reinitiate my comeback. I'm crossing my fingers here, 'cause I'm not promising anything. What I would like to do here, is face-lift my blog to a whole new category... I want to let the cyber world have a glimpse of my day-to-day work as a woman in a men's world... The things I do are way interesting.. so I hope you guys would like to hear all about it.

So stay tuned..

NAS.

baby.steps

Hi..

It's been ages. Haven't realized the reappearance is quite hard to capture. But whatever heavy stuff going around me needs some documentation. This might be the way to go .

Gimme a day or two to gather my thoughts into a cannonball and then blow it all out here.

*aywa! yalla! 3afya 3alaich N.A.*

e.for.election

I had to fly to Bahrain for several days for some never ending meetings.

And...

I've done something productive before going back to Dubai this evening.

I voted!



I thought I would miss it, but I was lucky I guess!

It turned out nonnah, my brothers and I rooted for the same guys; my parents otherwise.

That's as far as I can get being political.

Happy voting day Bahrain.

10.guiding.lessons.for.work

I've put down a list of rules to follow. Let me see if I can meet every single one of them..

1. A little bit of cockiness and a little bit of modesty makes you execute the best job.

2. Never, ever do someone else's job even if your boss told you so, because you will never be as good as the person responsible for it. Besides, the not-so-great job you've done will definitely get you blamed at.

IF forced to do another one's job, then refer to #1.

3. Business as usual. Never should be personal.

4. Think thrice before saying something.

5. If stress is wearing you down, always sing "Don't worry! Be happy now. Don't worry, be happyy"!!

6. How do you reply for "Nighty nights"?
"See you in 12 hours"!

7. Don't ask to be part of politics. Eventually you'll be wrapped around it in no time. It will creep to you.

8. Never pre-judge. You'll hear things which 99.9% are untrue. So don't pre-judge; won't do you any good, and at least it will postpone #7.

9. Rise and shine! Always look forward to a new day.

10. Optimism and enthusiasm wooh!

shy.girl.on.wild.rides

So Dr. George O'Malley is gay?! I had a thing for him. ;(

It's good to be back home for eid..

Work .. I'm loving it ..
Dubai .. I'm getting used to. I've never spent more than an hour in the apartment, well except when it's sleeping time. I've always been out doing God knows what.


Ramadhan there.. I never felt it. I mean, it wasn't that spiritual and that's quite sad isn't it?

Probably the white lies had a helping hand (waaay too sad man). I practically lied in the past 4 weeks. Gosh, I have never lied that much in my entire life. Don't get me wrong, I've been forced into it. I've got a 29 year old cousin who is as wild as a blueberry. When it's time for iftar, we sometimes plan eating out at an amazing place with a view of Madinat Jumeirah. To get away from eating iftar at my relative's house, she forces me to lie to uncle and aunt. I don't know about you guys, but my relatives hate it when we break our fast away from home-made food.

I love chilling out with her till the middle of the night with her addictive minty hookah.
She's fun alright. Fun & funny .. hmm.. a story that just keeps cracking me up whenever I remember it: she was once on a red carpet. Half way through the paparazzied lane, her thong snaps (I had to say this haah).. you guys get to imagine the rest.

Her sister is just the opposite. A sleeping bag she is. Her day starts at 11 PM in Ramadhan; yeahh, she's that laid back. So whenever I go out with her, I need my whole strength just to lift my poor sleepy eyelids.

Sexygoba, you're a sweetheart! Thanks for the talks, and the night at the khor. The kabab was delish. We should go out for some real crepes next time when you're back from your trip! You're missed already! ;/

They say Bahrain's small, but I say Dubai's way smaller. In the four weeks I spent there, I've coincedently bumped into a former college friend, a high school classmate and shockingly my ex...

The day I rented the car, was the day I got lost for 2 hours in Dubai's compacted roads. Roaming around like an idiot, honking at drivers to tell me which way's the right way, I even arrived an hour late to work. So much for an excellent first impression.

But now, touch on wood, touch on wood, I'm the next bint batutta. ;D


I Don't Trust Myself

John Mayer. From the album: Continuum. 2006
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everything's.waiting.for.you.downtown

At the airport waiting..

Starting a new job on Sunday, and that requires me to work in Dubai for some time before being deployed back here.

Now, I can't get that dry chuckle out of my throat picturing this: being stuck together for 25 years, I can't picture myself kissing nonnah goodbye. I've never done that in my life. We've laughed together, travelled together, studied together, telepathied together the same naughty thoughts. I'm being sentimental here. But that's something. I'm going to miss her usual blunt self!

You know what I remembered? When we're 6 years old helping Baba build that tree house. Being a naughty lil girl as I was, I picked up a hammer to nail a log. Instead of hammering the log I hammered one of my toes. In spite of all this, dad carried one of us to the emergency room. Turns out he carried the wrong twin. Talk about a time of misconception. HEHEHE.

You know what I remember too when we're kids? Mama mistakingly bathing me twice in one day. nonnah banonna rotted.

I love the 80's.

Enough with the nostalgia.

Why a sudden vision of intimidating skyscrapers is rushing into my presence?
I've never been a city girl.

But life's all about exploration eh?

They're calling my flight .. I should go .. c ya.

pyschology.test

A friend of mine tested me on this. One of my answers implied I get so happy when I tease people. Not good at all.

But it also says the credibility of this test ranges between 30 - 70%. So it's quite off. And I might be safe pretending to be on the 30% range.

Try your hands on it. Whatever comes first in your mind is probably going to be your answer. No thinking deep.

Imagine yourself in a forest.

1. While passing through, two animals appear out of no where. What are they?

2. After finding the animals, you walk in further more and find yourself in front of a cottage.
a) Will you forget about stepping in and just continue into the wilderness?
b) Knock on the door?
c) Or Enter without knocking?


** if you answered 2“a”, skip to Q 6. Don't answer 3-5**

3. When entering you see a table. Is it a circle or a square table?

4. How many chair/s do you see at the table?

5. You see 20 unlit candles on it. How many candles will you light?


6. You exit the cottage and walk a little further and end up near a lake. How many flamingoe/s is/are bathing in it?

7. You walk further more, and you stop by a river bank. You need to be on the other side of the river. So will you
a) swim to cross it?
b) Or find an alternative way to walk around it?


Want to know my answers?

soapy.soccer.field

Two hours ago I was dragged in a soccer game with my younger siblings and cousins. I didn't mind the challenged soapy field. I thought I would only slip once or twice. I get to boast my historic skills! Show me what you got boys and girls!

So the minute we landed on that soapy field, I see a couple of my cousins fall on their buttocks. Ha! I never had fan like that in a long time. My presumtions were not what they were. I was wrong. Not only I slipped a couple of times, but I kept landing on my left side of my body whenever I laughed at someone's fall. It did get me no where.

"What happened to your big talk"?
"Urghh, I'm a little rusty .. oldd"

Came up with another idea. Who can slide the furthest to the other end of the soap field. I was before last. Bummer. my male cousins are sticks; they flew.

Those teenagers definitely brought back some old memories and most definitly my kid inside me ha!

"Want to do that again next week"?
"Please please please" .. That was my answer two hours ago.

If they ask me right NOW, my answer will be "NOOOOO please"

I thought I wouldn't get any cramps. But my tushy hurts, I'm bruised all over, and every single muscle in my body aches while I'm on bed typing this.

Off topic, I'm getting used to the new weekend here. Believe me you it makes such a difference.

in.which.i'm.trying.to.open.up

Let me share...

What made me get into blogging the first place I wonder? I recall the many essays that I have written back in High School. Well most of them were handed back with red remarks such as "Unfocused", "Idea is scattered all around the place", "Needs redrafting". I had problems with writing skills, I guess that's why I tried to major in a field as far away from literature, or any major that needed excessive writing. And I succeeded. But I wanted to try writing again. The only way into it is starting a diary or a weekly journal. Blogger.com was the answer.

I don't think there's a person in the world who detests packing more than me. I can't describe how much I hate folding my clothes neatly and gracefully carry it over to the luggage. My only way escaping this, is having an unpacked luggage until the day of the trip, and that by the way drives nonnah crazy. So this manipulation in fact works. In the end I'm the happy woman who oversees the packing process in which nonnah becomes the packer.

I'm a fan of short/shoulder length hair. I try to keep mine this way. Hint, that's the only easy way to distinguish between me and nonnah.

I started designing an art room a while ago. I think that's gone to waste, because it'll be easier on me to use a spare garage. It'll need a little bit of tweaking - some service cables to place an electric pottery wheel and a kiln, some plumbing for a sink basin, erect a window, and some paint. It'll be all good. That's a nice change. My brother "promised" me to help. He's up for it as long as I give him half of the room for his new born artistic talent.

I'll be out of the country in a couple of days. Don't miss me much. I'll be coming back with splendid photos. I promise. Take care. Salam. ;*

mmm

10:45pm on a week day. Waiting outside to pick my 17 year old sister from a friend's house since I'm already out.

sis: "That's a shocker. You're out late on a week day. I thought you're a sleeping bag".
me: "Was on a date baby".
sis: "Ma9adgich".
me: "lat9adgeeny 7abooba".
sis: "Seriously?!"
me: "Seriously".
sis: "With whom?! You on a date? Hahaha. You're too goody goody".
me: "With an old dear friend of mine. It's just for coffee. And for old time's sake. And I'm not too goody goody thank you very much".
sis: "Cool. As long as he's funny".


Kay.Iye.Dee.Ess.


I need to write a resignation letter. I have no idea how to write a resignation letter. My boss is so sweet, if I write one that would be too insulting? I still haven't told him about leaving the government sector. I don't know how to bring it up. I need to bring it up, before sending the resignation letter. So how do I write one? I'm being repetitive. Hmmmm. Google.

Feel Like Listening to Billie Holiday

Copyright © Billie Holiday, The Very Thought of You
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invasion.of.flying.monkeys

Lebanon gets invaded by Israeli bombs while my residence was invaded by 5 little monkeys. No kidding.

First and foremost, our hearts with the Lebanese, and the foreigners who are trapped in Lebanon. Needless to say that our hearts have been and will always be aching for the Palestinians. May God give you strength. Always.

Now about the monkeys, dad's first encounter with them was not long ago. He found 3 jumping over his car landing on the fence. At first he could not believe what he saw; we don't see monkeys - moreover flying monkeys - everyday.

Maids' encounter with them was 48 hours ago. They've seen the five monkeys sitting around the pool with their pinkesh butts facing them.

I wasn't knowlegdable of the monkeys at first. The news of their existance did not come to me directly. It was funny how I knew, since the news of it took a bend or two. Baba talked eagerly about them to Mama. Poor sensible Baba, he did not think of the matter seriously but with a mom who can never stare at a situation without making a move at it, made him regret the second he told her about those adorable monkeys (not). To her, what makes those monkeys not infected with contagious diseases (Breakout the movie)?! Mama, the reuter, repeats the story to her aunt. My aunt has an overflowing husband who loves to spread situations to the rightful authorities which somehow landed on MBC fm's morning program where nonnah listens to it every day; so she naturally brought the news back to me. And that's how I knew of the five flying monkeys.

Two Civil Defense Officers knocked on our door today. Being alone at home at that moment, I was obliged to open the door for them and try explaining about a subject that has nothing to do with crime, robbary, or of that sort. I could not bring myself explaining about the 5 monkeys that love swinging from tree to tree. They nearly broke down from laughter. They were helpful though *clap clap*

coup.d'etat

People exaggerate a lot in this particular part of the world. It's so silly paying attention to such little unmeaningful details and try to enlarge them in any way possible. They make a cat, a cheetah; a fart an atomic bomb. Nothing tops this one: trying to say exactly what I mean by being eloquent, however others would think I'd said just the opposite. That's funnily way overboard. Heh. That's the new exaggeration era.

So white is really black?

What's wrong with a little bit of decency .. little bit of a simple satisfying life.

It shows I'm in a frustrated mood, but I undeniably am, and it has a sudden power overturning my optimism.

;p~

-------
On a lighter note, I'm a Jane Austen fan:
Although the dialogue came straight out of the motion picture; It won't do JA justice, but I love love it).


Scene 1:

Still photos from Pride & Prejudice Motion Picture

Mr. Bingley: She is the most beautiful creature I have ever beheld.
But her sister, Elizabeth, is agreeble.

Mr. Darcey: Perfectly tolerable, I dare say, but not handsome enough to tempt me.
You better return to your partner and enjoy her smiles. You're wasting your time with me.

Meanwhile, Elizabeth & Charlotte are overhearing...

Charlotte Lucas: Count your blessings, Lizzie. If he liked you, you'd have to talk to him.

Elizabeth Bennet: Precisely.
As it is, I wouldn't dance with him for all of Derbyshire, let alone the miserable half.


Scene 2:

Still photos from Pride & Prejudice Motion Picture

Elizabeth: I wonder who first discovered the power of poetry in driving away love?

Darcey: I thought that poetry was the food of love.

Elizabeth: Of a fine, stout love, it may. But if it is only a vague inclination, I'm convinced one poor sonnet will kill it stone dead.

Darcey: So what do you recommend to encourage affection?

Elizabeth: Dancing.
Even if one's partner is barely tolerable.

what's.in.a.name

~I'll be thounding like a whiney 10 year old girl .. thweeeet!
-------------------

Can't figure out what my name really means.

I always wanted to know! Never succeeded in finding a real meaning to it. When I was a kid I nagged Mama for as long as I could, and she kept telling me it is a female version of a natural "something" that lies on the face of the earth. I wasn't satisfied with that result 'cause surely there is another meaningful symbol behind my name. I was soo jealous of nonnah's. I wished I had hers. Half of the neighbour's daughters carry nonnah's name. And they can literally define it in so many ways. I kept on running to Mama and whine to her of what a stupid name they've picked for me, 'cause I can never come up with a definition for it .. not even a single one. None of them knew what it really means except that it's an ancient name carried by women long ago in ancient Bahrain.

Nonnah was named the second she got out of Mama's uterus. I, on the other hand, was a nameless baby for the first 30 days of my life; until on the 31st day dad had an announcement to make, "N.A. it is".

I'm still dying to know what the heck my name symbolizes. It's like an annoying puzzle that I'm trying to solve. Brrrffff.

;pP

bittersweet

There was once a system that sucked me inside its magical environment. It was non existent, like an unwritten song lyrics. Being a first timer as I was in that unexpected experience, I was floating away through an unheard life – ignorant of the lovable beings around me. I was a prisoner inside my own deeds; a prisoner who feared from the outside world, who fell in love with the system that formed darkness in a short hiatus.

Like a drunkard I was flushed and felt intoxicated with it. A feeling that can never be described. When I needed more doses, the system was graciously charitable. But before I knew it I was abandoned by it, the system was no where to be found. The charity was cut short. I was suffocating, because finding out that that system was realistically turmoil. That system that I was sucked in promised me the world in one hand, but I mostly saw the waves of confusion that drifted me to unwanted places. First of them was a place called Emotional Instability. Luckily, I was out if it sooner than expected; only to find myself with an unwanted guest. It kept following me to places that had never been visited before. I wanted some answers: why was I abandoned, who might that unwanted guest be?

Curiousness made me realize the paid visit was from a guest named Capriciousness. It was addictive; moreover, it was unsurprisingly a hand-me-down from my so called fellow – Emotional Instability. I realized the former had enough of me, or did I have enough of it?

Capriciousness was ironically a beautiful transition. Made me easily forget I was ever into the system. With the mood swings flying everywhere it landed me upon a school of thought. An aptitude of familiar territory – a preview of my prehistoric life with the wonderful and lovable beings. I’ve reached an understanding that life still goes on. At last I was cured until a fortnight ago a rushed reappearance by it shocked me. I do not want to be trapped again by the system. I was tired of its problems. It brought grayness to my hair. I need to live an easy, blossoming life away from it, as far as my body can drag me. The thought of being intervened by the system scares me.

So let bygones be bygones.

choices

I’m kind of questioning the life choices I made. Nobody “slapped me on my hand” and forced me to do the things that I did. I more or less chose to do them no matter what outcome could be there.

An i.e., “My Mama told me to stop biting my nail, a bad habit that I do, or else my cell phone will be confiscated for a month. ”

Well sweetheart, you either choose to bite that filthy nail, or choose to stop. But, if you chose to stop that habit of yours, then that does not mean you are doing it for the fear of your Mama, instead you chose to stop doing it, because you know what the terrifying result would be – a week phoneless not a week of Mama’s preaching.

I know I stepped on a dangerous and sensitive territory, that I trespassed the morale of any person – "فلا تقل لهما أفاً ". But trust me, I’m not your Mama’s rebel, I’m trying to express how I see the world in my own eyes. And how I see it, the world is marched through the choices made by people themselves.

Anger is a choice made, not a heredity of dysfunctioal behavior. I don’t know, I don’t buy the latter. A person chooses to be angry on Human Being A, because Human Being A did something wrong – a glitch. Now, if that angry person stepped back and gave some thought to the matter, he can either be a pain in the ass and shout at Human Being A or be cool about it. So which is it? Everything in life is treatable and fixable, no need to make a huge fuss –the size of China –about it.

I don’t think that a person grows evilness within him. I believe, or chose to believe, that a person has an option of being evil and niceness is just one of his road that is less travelled.

Now, speaking of choices, I chose to hate the word “busy”. I chose to be annoyed by it. I chose to not like hearing it. The “z” sound in it makes me nauseous when enunciated by a person who worships bustling. I hear a bunch of people pryingly say they’re “busy” with a particular thing that might postpone, for example, a one week planned outing with a friend. I don’t religiously believe in 100% busy life or 100% busy day (It’s wonderful to enjoy stillness once in a while). There’s always time to spare. There’s always a millisecond that could be fitted in a schedule.

I don’t really get busy people.

But then again, it’s my choice not getting them in the first place. ;)

"i.wish.i.was.a.punk.rocker"

• I walked into a salon and saw 6 Indian eyebrow threaders trembling on stools and couches, screaming at something. the one and only Philipino was courageously running with a broom trying to kill a gecko.

They say higher ground means royalty.

But the way I see it:

Indians are chicken and Philipinos are gutsy*

• I really hate it when I'm solemnly in a room .. dead silence .. and my stomache suddenly growls at people who might think that

a) I have food shortage in my house.

b) I might've accidently expelled mixed gases from my other end.

Untrue. I even drank a bottle of water, but the stomache generator has gotten worse. Urgh.

* Stereotyping is unintentional.

Copyright © 2006 Sandi Thom, I Wish I Was a Punk Rocker

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casual.wednesday.&.crawling.insects

My division that I work in never fails to crack me up. It’s the only girl’s dominated division.
You’ve got Nadia, our sluggish boss whom I adore.
You’ve got Khookhoo, a young mother of a one year old. With a couple of conversations, we’ve discovered we were in fact related (what a small world heh).
You’ve got Simone, Khookhoo’s Egyptian-Originated, Bahraini-Passported partner in crime. She talks funny; Egyptian-Bahraini funny.

Bring these together, and you’ll draw closer to a comic bunch.

The last of their comedic play happened not long ago during brunch time.

Khookhoo asked me if I want anything from a cafeteria. I get suspicious of food delivered from cafeterias especially ones called sunrock .. sunrise .. sun something, so I unobligingly replied with a sweet "no thanks, i already brought my own apple and banana".

Their sandwhichs were delivered, they hungrily went into another office and started with their food. But five minutes later I see Khookhoo's face, all bloated light headed approaching my table. I'm still picturing her pose lol.

I asked her, "what's going on?"
She blurted out something like "our sandwhiches were filled with crawling insects and spiders"
I've never heard of spiders finding their way into edible things like sandwiches, but I saw the proof with the two bites deducted. I presume Khookhoo with all her starvatious self had munched two bites from the sandwich until eventually analytical Simone discovered (read: screamed) those gross creatures. How unfortunate.

I have never laughed so much since I joined that division. It needed me a day to flush this out of my system.

They sooner or later threw up whatever was eaten, called the Ministry of Health and called in the cafeteria and bashed whoever was on the other end of the phone.

On the same day, Nadia skipped worked .. again. The night before, Nadia and her hubby were more like a scratching dummy. Termites ate half of their bed and continuously were after them. They spent the rest of the night scratching each other.


Apparently I’m the only sane person at this girl’s dominated division, I carefully wrote this after Simone mentioned how she loves caressing her butt with Baby Johnson's Lotion.


In the midst of all this, I decided to choose a day in the week to dress (semi) casually. So what day better than Wednesday?!

More casual, more approachable, less seriousness and more enjoyable.



Copyright © 2005 Middle of Nowhere by Hot Hot Heat
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Chapter.One

UH .. ME .. GOODNESS .. GRACIOUS

I, N.A., have a one-sided fling?!?

A fling is just a brief thing right?

BUT...

I cannot stop thinking about him.

I am out of my mind!

And this sounds somewhat childish and unprofessional ..

But I have not felt this .. this extraordinary feeling .. this .. annus mirabilis .. in a long loooong time; at least not the last 4 godforsaken years.

I can't stop smilingggggg. ;DDDDD

I can't help it! Heeh!




Even a pile of sobby movies won't wear that smile of mine down.

Let the game beginnnnn


Copyright © 2006 Mary J Blige, I Found My Everything
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'tis.a.pain.that.pain.to.miss

Came home from an engagement party a while ago. Just as i was getting into bed, I heard cries. My sixteen year old sibling had a nose surgery a week ago. She gets excruciating pain from time to time - a side effect I guess. I checked her out. she was starting to sob continuously. I couldn't get any sleep hearing her and I didn't know what to do to tell you the truth. Might as well give her two pills of Panadol. Ran downstairs to the kitchen. Fetched a glass of water and two pills of Panadol. Ran back upstairs. Helped her swallow them. But her wailing hasn't stopped. Told her her cries won't do her any good. But the poor thing couldn't handle the pain. And I couldn't handle hearing her torment. I never have seen her cry like that. I can't think of anything else to give for her relief. Thought of ice. Hmm. Ran back downstairs to get an ice cube. I thought it might lessen her pain and cries. Rolled a tissue on the ice cube. Ran back upstairs - what a workout. Padded her nose bridge with it. Luckily it did work. Finally she sound asleep - like a beautiful baby.

Where's the doctor when you needed one?!

Pfft. She'll be fiineee. I'll even remind her tomorrow morning how she tortured me.

Nighty night..

scratch.my.head.please

We are so swamped at work.

We are short in staff.

Our Genious Indian took two months off to enjoy himself in India.

Now we're 3 instead of 4 working on gazzilion things.

Yesterday Nadia, our boss, stood on a pedestal and threatened her tiny about-to-go-crazy team (consisting of Khookhoo and me), "Take a viteman C, anything! Whatever you do, do NOT get sick! Do not even think of having a one day off. We are already having projects 'gad sha3ar rassy' to go to tender".

I even arrived 15 minutes earlier this morning, with that short speech in mind.

Nadia was no where to be found.

She called in sick.

I don't blame her. She needed that day to sit at home and cool off.